It's the end of the world as we know it... in 5 years?

Have you guys heard of this "survive 2012" thing?

I guess people had to latch on to some new crazy theory, since Nostradamus is out of fashion and we seem to have forgotten about the avian flu.

A rundown on the theory: The Mayans and a Web-bot that searches for cataclysmic clues and supposedly predicted 9-11 both say that the world might end in 2012.

Or, at the very least, something world-altering is going to happen, like a solar flare or aliens invading or WWIII.

Some dude is even writing a book about it. I'd advise him to get moving on it, since he has less than five years to git-r-done and scare the crap out of everyone.

Part of the theory hinges on the fact that the Mayan calendar "stops" in 2012. Well, did anyone stop to think about all the unfinished projects THEY have lying around? Just because I forgot to flush the toilet doesn't mean I'm never going to use it again. Maybe the Mayans had to go sacrifice a virgin or grind some corn. They didn't have time to pound out another hundred years on their calendar with all the dots and dashes and clamshell symbols.

I've got my own theory. For some reason, some people need a deadline for the world. There have always been doomsday cult followers and there will always be people who take advantage of them. Remember the Heaven's Gate matching sneaker-wearers and comet Hale-Bopp? Remember Y2K and people building their bomb shelters and stocking up on water and Spam? Ever seen one of those people wearing a sandwich board proclaiming "THE WORLD WILL END TOMORROW"?

Yeah, well, today is the old tomorrow and we're still here, buddy.

In the meantime, I'm going to make a list of all the things I have to do in the next five years before the aliens from Atlantis come back to reclaim the world and drown the world in seawater. You know they've got to be behind this whole global warming thing.