Friday, August 17, 2007

I (was) saved at Wal-Mart

Not only are prices falling at Wal-Mart.

Freaks are dropping from the sky too. Or apparating in the parking lot, in my case.

I had gone shopping for my friend who is setting up her classroom. I paused with my cart full o school stuff to cross the parking lot.

A fairly normal-looking brunette lady in her late 40s was crossing as well, toward me. She was wearing plain clothes and glasses. She turned her head toward me and had this bizarre pasted-on smile on her face. I naturally gave a quick half-smile just in case she was someone I knew but didn't recognize right away, to be friendly. I couldn't tell if we had made eye contact because her glasses were tinted.

She made a beeline for me and veered toward my cart. I thought she was going to ask directions or something. Instead, she leaned close and said in a breathy voice, "Jesus loves you. I hope he's your best friend," without breaking the creepy plastic smile.

I said, "Thank you?" and I don't quite know why my voice went up in pitch at the end like it was a question. Then I crossed the street.

It's official. I'm a freak beacon.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yikes! How do you manage to find these people...or how do they find you? I can empathize with you though...I was a creepy/loser guy magnet back in the day. And no, I am not putting Jeff in that category.

Bill & Glory said...

Now, if she'd handed you a loaded WalMart gift card along with her church address, that would've been a twist on the whole experience, huh?

Personally, Bill and I are surprised at this since we are firmly convinced that Satan shops at WalMart. The whole store is evil.

Glory

Erin said...

I totally agree, Glory. Sadly, it is the cheapest place to get school supplies around here and when teachers spend their own money... they visit Satan's lair. And run into creepy people. eek.

I wish we had a Costco here.